What Kind of Customer Experience Builds Genuine Loyalty?

What is the word that best describes or points out the fundamental context/orientation that underpins business as usual?  It occurs to me that the word is “taking”.  Taking as much as possible from the customers.  Taking as much as possible from employees. Taking as much as possible from suppliers, Taking as much as possible from the community. Taking as much as possible from the planet…..

From the context of taking you get personalised emails and direct mail that does not show up as personal. From this context of taking you get the incessant focus on replacing human customer service with self-service and the switch from skilled staff to unskilled and cheaper staff. From this context of taking you get the focus on upselling, x-selling, and increasing wallet share.

I have yet to find any meaningful and enduring relationships that are based on taking. Where the context of taking is present all that shows up is taking. And people coming up with ways of protecting themselves from being taken. This is not the case for giving.

Where actions flow from a context of giving then it is possible to arrive at symbiotic relationships. Symbiotic relationships are ones where each party brings something of value to the other such that both benefit. It occurs to me that the strongest relationships tend to be symbiotic. Symbiotic relationships start with one party giving – giving something of genuine value to the other party.

Why are so many companies struggling to generate meaningful-enduring relationships with their customers despite their investments in all kind of customer stuff? Why is it that a genuine shift towards a customer centred orientation is so difficult? I say it is difficult because all this effort and investment arises from a context of taking.  Whilst this may not be obvious to the people in the company it is obvious to customers – our bodies can tell the difference between those who care for us and those who do not.

Allow me to share an example two example with you. Examples that will illustrate the difference between taking and giving.  Let’s start by looking at the taking orientation.

This week I brought a training course. To make the sale happen the supplier offered a 10% discount amounting to £100 and threw in some extras. Given that it is summer and there is less demand for the course it makes perfect sense for the supplier. And it showed up as an attractive discount for me given that I was going to buy the course with or without the discount. Did this discount build any gratitude, any relationship, any loyalty? No. I am clear that the discount served the needs and interests of the supplier.

Are there any companies that excel at giving?  It occurs to me that giffgaff, a mobile network provider, is one such company. Earlier this month I got a email from giffgaff letting me know that the best tariff for me was the £7.50 tariff. By providing me this information giffgaff gave me the choice of switching from the £10 tariff. I didn’t switch tariffs. Nonetheless, I am delighted with giffgaff – I am delighted that giffgaff is practicing what it preaches, that the folks at giffgaff are living their values.

Let’s take a moment to look at my experience upon receiving the email. First, surprise. Second, delight. Third, gratitude. Fourth, satisfaction in having chosen giffgaff. Fifth, loyalty validated and cemented.  Sixth – advocacy as in writing this post.  Put differently, giving by giffgaff has called forth giving by me. I should point out that it is not just me.  My wife has been telling a similar story to her circle of friends and colleagues.

The lesson? I say genuine-meaningful-enduring relationships are built upon mutual giving. I say you cannot build such relationships from a context of taking – the context that underpins business as usual.  I say that as human beings we are always on the lookout for people and organisations that are trustworthy and on our side – looking after our best interest.

It occurs to me that if the people in companies pursuing customer experience, customer-centricity, even customer obsession, were to focus on giving and not clever ways of taking then they would have more success in fostering customers who are genuinely loyal.

What do you say?

Author: Maz Iqbal

Experienced management consultant. Passionate about enabling customer-centricity by calling forth the best from those that work in the organisation and the intelligent application of digital technologies. Subject matter expert with regards to customer strategy, customer insight, customer experience (CX), customer relationship management (CRM), and relationship marketing. Working at the intersection of the Customer, the Enterprise (marketing, sales, service), and Technology.

6 thoughts on “What Kind of Customer Experience Builds Genuine Loyalty?”

  1. Maz. An excellent post that for me hits the nail fairly and squarely on the head. There is no real relationship if it is based on taking for your advantage or self-interest only exploitation. Keep up the good work. Graeme


  2. Maz,

    I think the world is changing. Giving becomes more important as does sharing and trust

    If you have 15 minutes I think you will enjoy this TED talk on the subject.



    1. Hello James

      Many thanks for the link. I do enjoy listening to Rachel Botsman talk about collaborative consumption.

      The possibility of living in a world where giving-sharing-trust is common way of being is one that speaks to me. Arguably, you and I, in writing our blogs are giving and sharing, trusting that our fellow human beings will find value in our speaking.



  3. Hi Maz,
    Your post made me think of Christmas where one understanding of the gift process is that you give to receive.

    However, I think that a better way, in line with what you are propounding, is to just give. If I receive anything in return it’s a bonus.




    1. Hello Adrian

      Yes, it occurs to me that when we give to receive then we are in the domain of marketing. The whole point of large sections of marketing, especially catalogue based direct marketing, is to give in order to receive. So the context from which this giving shows up is self: my needs, my priorities, my interests…

      On the other hand when we give, just give for the delight of giving, then this giving shows up from a context of generosity-contribution-service. It may or may not deliver a return. That does not matter because my giving was an expression of me and my stand in life. And we also know that human beings reciprocate. We especially reciprocate when we get something that we did not expect, something that was given from genuine giving.

      All the best


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