Want me as your customer? Show me love.

Lyn Hunsaker and a particular song got me thinking

I read this opening line – ““How did we make you feel? That’s what really matters.”- from Lyn Hunsaker’s post and a little later the radio played one of my favourite songs.  And that is the genesis of  this post.

Every customer encounter presents you with a choice: ‘I-It’ or ‘I-Thou’

Every time you encounter a customer in business you are faced with a choice.  You can treat that customer as on object that has to be handled/manipulated to fit in with your agenda.  In this case you are treating the customer as an object; in Martin Buber’s terms you are engaged in a ‘I-It’ relationship.  Many companies do that because too many people forget that customers are human beings.

It just so happens that if you want to build enduring relationships with customers you have to be willing to drop the ‘I-It’ relationship and move to the ‘I-Thou’ relationship.  Fundamentally, this means treating your customer as a fellow human being and as such treating the customer as you would like to be treated if you were in her shoes.  Why is this necessary?

Have you noticed how ‘love’ is so much a part of the human landscape?  How many of us strive for it in our personal lives?  How many books and poems have been written about ‘love’?  How many people have decided to end their lives due to the lack of ‘love’?  And then you have the songs – many about love.  So how is it that ‘love’ is missing from the business landscape.  I can only think of one book that deals well with love: “Love is the Killer App”

Now I can write a learned article in the acceptable business narrative and appeal to your left brain.  Or I can share the lyrcis of the following song (“Show Me Love”) and appeal to your right brain.  I prefer the latter as I want to talk to you as a human being rather than an engineer, an accountant or an economist.  Incidentally, listening to the song is even better than reading the lyrics – so if you get a chance listen to the song.

An insight into the human condition through the lyrics of a pop song

“Ahhh… Yeah yeah
You’ve got to show me love

Heartbreaks and promises, I’ve had more than my share
I’m tired of giving my love and getting nowhere, nowhere
What I need is somebody who really cares
I really need a lover, a lover who wants to be there
It’s been so long since I touched a wanting hand
I can’t put my love on the line, that I hope you’ll understand

So baby if you want me
You’ve got to show me love
Words are so easy to say, oh ah yeah
You’ve got to show me love

I’m tired of getting caught up in those one night affairs
What I really need is somebody who will always be there
Don’t you promise me the world, all that I’ve already heard
This time around for me baby, actions speak louder than words

So if you’re looking for devotion, talk to me
Come with your heart in your hands
Because me love is guaranteed

So baby if you want me
You’ve got to show me love
Words are so easy to say, oh ah yeah
You’ve got to show me love

Show me, show me baby
Show me, show me baby
Show me, show me baby
Show me, show me baby

Heartbreaks and promises, I’ve had more than my share
I’m tired of giving my love and getting nowhere, nowhere
What I really need is somebody who will always be there
This time around for me baby, actions speak louder than words

If you’re looking for devotion, talk to me
Come with your heart in your hands
Because me love is guaranteed

So baby if you want me
You’ve got to show me love
Words are so easy to say, oh ah yeah
You’ve got to show me love

There’s nothing that you can tell me
You’ve got to show me love
There’s only one key to my heart
You’ve got to show me love

Show me, show me baby
You’ve got to give it to me, give it to me, give it to me yeah
I don’t want no fakes, don’t want no phoney
I need you love
Show me, show me, show me baby
Give it to me, give it to me
I am not a toy, I’m not a play thang
You’ve got to understand

If you’re looking for devotion, talk to me
Come with your heart in your hands
Because me love is guaranteed
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah”

Does this strike you as idealistic?

If showing customers love strikes you as being idealistic then that is because it is idealistic.  That does not mean that it does not work.  I know of a young man who started a car business 8 years ago with £4,000 pounds that I gave him and who, today, continues to expand his business with a loyal customer base whilst many of his competitors have gone out of business.  His secret: he shows his customers love.  The details I will leave for a later post.

PS: I thank each and every one of you for reading the stuff that I write.  Through your reading and commenting you leave me feeling loved!  And that in turn gives me the motivational food I need to continue writing in my voice.

Author: Maz Iqbal

Experienced management consultant working at the intersection of strategy, customer, and technology. Combine a tendency to think strategically with a penchant for getting my hands dirty at the coalface of implementation.

2 thoughts on “Want me as your customer? Show me love.”

  1. Maz,
    I love this post 🙂
    The Beatles said “All you need is love”
    Many times we ask ourselves “what’s happened to this place/company…” when we do not like to go to a place we used to go before. 20-30 years ago, people built business out of pure desire. They created their business in order to create value for their customers. Today, many businesses are built to make profit to their owners – leading to alienated customer experience (lack of love). You can see small coffee places that started as a very warm and friendly place (loving the customers, serving them with a smile and care) that become a chain of stores full with employees that just see it as a way to make a living. You cannot teach how to love (or as Phil Collins says “You can’t hurry love”).
    In an interview to Playboy in 1980, John Lennon misquoted a Beatles line written originally by Paul McCartney “And in the end, the love you get is equal to the love you give”. I believe it says everything.

    Arie

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  2. Hello Arie
    What can I say except that I totally agree with you. There is a Chinese proverb that comes to mind:

    “If you want happiness for an hour – take a nap.
    If you want happiness for a day – go fishing.
    If you want happiness for a month – get married.
    If you want happiness for a year – inherit a fortune.
    If you want happiness for a lifetime – help others.”

    Too many people in business are fixated on the year and as such on “inheriting a fortune”. This means that the field is wide open to the people who are playing the lifetime game – companies like USAA, Zappos and Amazon.

    All the best my friend, I thank you for contributing once again, your voice is most welcome here at The Customer Blog.

    Maz

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