Customers-Employees-Leadership: Distinguishing Between ‘Caring About’ And ‘Caring For’- And Why It Matters
Given that I find myself in the week of Christmas, it occurs to me that today is a great time to diving into caring. And in particular, I wish to make/introduce a distinction. Which distinction? I wish to distinguish between ‘caring about’ and ‘caring for’. Let’s start with the realm of Customer.
Caring About Customers v Caring For The Customer
I am clear that folks in business care about customers. Specifically, they care about:
- Figuring out what makes customers tick – by ‘listening’ to customers through market research, social listening, ethnography, and voice of the customer surveying;
- Getting more customers – turning prospects into customers by pushing out the right message, right offer, at the right time and through the right communication channel;
- Keeping more of their existing customers buying from them for longer – through a range of techniques including making it easier for customers to do business with the organisation (reducing effort, improving access, improving the customer experience) and through targeted incentives (promotions, discounts, loyalty points);
- Selling a wider range of ‘products’ to existing customers – by turning customer data into insight through the use of data mining and predictive analytics or just plain collaborative filtering;
- Moving existing customers from lower margin ‘products’ to higher margin customers – through the use of range of techniques and tactics;
- Winning back folks that used to be customers – usually through some kind of enticing promotion, discount or, rarely, a new/compelling ‘product'; and
- Servicing customers in a smart manner – by using the right combination (digital, telephone) of customer service channels.
Now, let’s turn our attention to caring for the customer. Let’s start with the basic question, who (specifically) cares for the customer? Let’s make this even more specific, who cares for me? As a customer, I deal with many companies and I am clear that there is not one company/organisation that cares for me. Not one! I, as a flesh and blood human being, do not show up on the organisational radar. Does anyone in an organisation ever care for me in a business context? When I interact with the organisations that I interact with do I get left with the feeling-experience of being cared for by an organisation? The answer is: No!
Are there any occasions where I, as a customer, feel cared for? Yes. When do I experience this kind of experience? When I encounter a Welcomer. What is a Welcomer? For me a Welcomer is a human being who, in his being, welcomes me as a fellow human being. S/he going beyond the formalised rituals of business and organisational life, beyond the scripts, beyond the transaction, and reaches out to me as one human being to another. I know when this is going on because I notice and experience the English reserve breaking down. There is breaking down of boundaries, whilst still respecting boundary. There tends to be mutual disclosure of the human kind: sharing occurs. And there tends to be smiling, even laughter. As a result of these kind of encounters, I find myself uplifted, smiling, grateful and with a sense of pride in being a member of the human race. These kind of encounters leave me with hope, with optimism in my footsteps.
I invite you to consider that there is a world of difference between ‘caring about’ customers and ‘caring for’ the customer. Notice the difference: in the realm of ‘caring about’ we are dealing with customers whereas in the realm of ‘caring for’ we are in the realm of the individual customer – that one human being. There is a vast difference. And it occurs to me that the folks who talk about, evangelise about, preach out all things Customer are not present to this critical distinction.
Does this indifference between ‘caring about’ customers and ‘caring for’ the customer matter? I say it matters – it matters to each customer. You see this is the deepest and most radical meaning of personalisation – speaking to the person of that one person (the customer). I invite you to listen to the following words:
The general obsession with observing only historical or sociological movements, and not a particular human being …. is as mistaken as a doctor who does not take an interest in a particular case. Every particular case is an experience that can be valuable to the understanding of the illness…….
….. this indifference to the individual, total lack of interest in intimate knowledge of the isolated, unique human being, atrophies human reactions and humanism. Too much social consciousness and not a bit of insight into human beings.
As soon as you speak in psychological terms ….. people act as if you had a lack of interest in the wider currents of the history of man. In other words, they feel able to study masses and consider this more virtuous, assign of a vaster concept than relating to one person. This makes them …. inadequate in relationships, in friendships, in psychological understanding.
- Anias Nin
I invite you to consider that the strongest bonds, usually called loyalty, occurs where one human being experiences himself cared for (as a unique human being) by another human being. Is it then any surprise that despite the talk of customer loyalty, and all the customer loyalty programmes and tactics, there is so little loyalty between customers and brands.
Caring About Employees v Caring For The Employee
Sure, organisations ‘care about’ employees. It is the employees who do the work – the work that creates value for the the customer. The work that ends up generating revenue and profits. So I find that organisations care a great deal about their employees including but not limited to:
- Attracting the right people to become employees of the organisation;
- Keeping the most valuable employees;
- Getting more out of their existing employees (productivity, collaboration, teamwork, ideas..);
- Ranking employees for performance management purposes;
- Minimising the costs associated with recruiting, retaining, managing, controlling employees.
Now, who in your organisation actually cares for that individual flesh+blood human being to whom you have given the label employee, and, thus deprived him/her of personhood and turned him/her into a category? Let me ask this question differently, as an employee do I feel cared for? Who do I feel cares for me in this organisation in which I find myself employed?
I invite you to consider that there is world of difference between ‘caring about’ employees and ‘caring for’ the person to whom you have given the label employee. Does this difference matter? Of course it matters! Until this difference is recognised and acted up organisations will continue to grapple with the challenge of ‘employee engagement’. Why should I engage with you and your organisation when I do not feel myself cared for – as a unique human being?
What Has This To Do With Leadership?
I invite you to consider that this distinction between ‘caring about’ employees and ‘caring for’ the person whether under the label ‘customer’ or the label ‘employee’ can be used to distinguish between management and leadership. Leaders must dwell in the human real, the personal realm: ‘caring for’ the person. Here I share the following wise words with you:
My lack of faith in the men who lead us is that they do not recognize the irrational in men, they have no insight, and whoever does not recognize the personal, individual drama of man cannot lead them.
- Anais Nin
Something to Consider And Play For At Christmas?
As you head into Christmas and the festivities where hopefully you will be in amidst people who are family and friends, I invite you to be present to the distinction between ‘caring about’ and ‘caring for’ the folks that you will be meeting up with and celebrating Christmas with. It occurs to me that making the shift from ‘caring about’ the folks you find yourself with, to ‘caring for’ each person that is there will transform your (and their) experience of Christmas.
If you play this ‘game’ you might just find that ‘caring about’ is easy, ‘caring for’ is really difficult. This might just explain why it is that all the folks who speak Customer and Employee make ‘caring about’ masquerade as ‘caring for’. The interesting thing is that whilst we can hoodwink ourselves in the management suite, our customers and our employees are not hoodwinked that easily: they experience and detect the difference between ‘caring about’ and ‘caring for’ – which is why they are not loyal to us and rightly so.
Looking back, I see that I have been involved in drama of organisational change since the days I did corporate recovery work as a part of Price Waterhouse’s Corporate Recovery division. That must have been around 1990/91 – some 20+ years ago. What is it that I have ‘learned’ about this domain: the domain of leading-facilitating organisational change?
After 20+ years, I find myself totally clear on the following: almost every Top and Middle I have come across, in just about every type of organisation, in just about every type of industry, sucks at leading-enabling-facilitating organisational change. I found myself face to face with this truth, in a recent organisational context, where I find myself acting as an outside advisor on a Customer project.
If you find yourself in this ‘place’ and are content with this then stop reading and go do something useful with your life. On the other hand, if you find yourself in that ‘place’ and looking for an access to being effective in the exercise of change leadership then I invite you to listen – really listen and grapple with these words of wisdom:
Position is everything. Everything changes, even when the circumstances remain identical, when you shift your position. Try it sometime with someone who is your adversary. Shift your position. Be that person and the adversary disappears.
Shift positions with whatever barrier you are facing … in your life. Be the barrier, and it is no longer there. It is only there because we pull back, separate ourselves from it. The more we pull back, the bigger and more overwhelming it gets, and the angrier or the more frightened we become. If we really look at the anger that makes us crazy or the fear that stops us cold, we see that it develops step by step from our thought process. And starting point of that thought process is separation ……
When you really acknowledge that it is nothing but yourself, when you realise this fact, you cannot live your life in the old way. You’ve suddenly taken responsibility for it. Before, the problem was outside – your bad luck, what other did to you, the circumstances you could do nothing about… When you realise that the cause is you, you empower yourself. You suddenly become a ten thousand-foot-high buddha……. Nothing is outside of you.
- John Daido Loori, The Great Way, Best Buddhist Writing 2008
Just about every one of us (as a human being) sucks at relationship, at experience design, at calling forth engagement, at change, and at the exercise of leadership due to the neglect of this radical truth. Some of us are not aware of this. Many who us, who are aware of this truth, choose not to give life to this truth in our way of being (showing up and travelling) in life.
Is it then any surprise that just about every organisation sucks at cultivating relationships with customer, at designing-generating appropriate customer experiences, at calling forth the best of their people popularly labelled employee engagement, and the exercise of change leadership?
What hope is their for an organisation to make a shift to a customer-centric way of being-in-the-world and doing business with customers, when the Tops and Middles are not even effective in the exercise of change leadership in the context of designing-implementing a CRM system?
What way of showing up and travelling (being) lies at the heart of human-centred leadership?
This is the question that I have been pondering over the last month. It occurs to me that it comes down to one’s embodied stance towards one’s fellow human beings and in particular the human being one seeks to lead or is leading.
As a leader what is your stance towards your people? How do you relate to and treat your people? Do you see your people as defective – lacking something is some or other domain? Or do you see your people as whole, complete, and perfect? Do you treat some of your people as A’s, others B’s, many as C’s and some as D’s? Or do you grant each and every person in your organisation as an A and treat him/her accordingly?
What is it that I am getting at here? I invite you to listen to and reflecting on the following (bolding mine):
“Michelangelo is often quoted as having said that inside every block of stone or marble dwells a beautiful statue; one need only remove the excess material to reveal the work of art within. If we were to apply this visionary concept …… it would be pointless to compare one … to another. Instead, all the energy would be focused on chipping away at the stone, getting rid of whatever is in the way of …. developing skills, mastery and self-expression.
We call this practice giving an A. It is an enlivening way of approaching people that promises to transform you as well as them ….
An A can be given to anyone in any walk of life …. When you give an A, you find yourself speaking to people not from a place of measuring how they stack up against your standards, but from a place of respect ….. Your eye is on the statue within the roughness of the uncut stone.
This A is not an expectation to live up to, but a possibility to live into.”
– Rosamund and Benjamin Zander, The Art Of Possibility
Allow me to make this real for you. In a recent Customer project, the folks in head office were doing all the decision making and not involving anyone from the branches where customer interactions took place. As I probed and listened I found that the head office folks listened to the people in the branches as being unskilled, lazy, selfish, resistant to change. That is to say that they had granted these folks C’s and Ds. And treated them accordingly – excluded them.
I had never met any of the folks in the branches. Yet, I granted them A’s just as I granted the head office folks A’s. After several weeks of encouragement, the head office folks invited several people from the branches into the discussion – to review the prototype that had been built and provide feedback. What was the outcome?
The folks from the branches were delighted to be asked for their point of view. The came to head office, they worked with the prototype, they provided useful insights into the way that work occurred in the branches and suggested a number a tweaks that would make the prototype useful and thus increase adoption. In the process respect and relationship were cultivated between all and a bigger team was created. The leader of the head office team became enthusiastic about my suggestion: involving the folks at the customer coalface early and deep in the analysis and design of any and all changes to the ‘way we do things around here’.
Listen To These Words of Wisdom: Transformative Wisdom
I wish to end this conversation by leaving you with the following words of wisdom (bolding mine):
“The freely granted A expresses a vision of partnership, teamwork and relationship. It is for wholeness and functionality, in the awareness that for each of us, excess stone may still hide the graceful form within…
The practice of giving an A both invents and recognises a universal desire in people to contribute to others , no matter how many barriers there are to its expression. We can choose to validate the apathy of a boss, a player, or a high school student and become resigned ourselves, or we can choose to honor in them the unfulfilled yearning to make a difference ….
When we give an A we can be open to a perspective different from our own. For after all, it is only to a person to whom you have granted an A that you will really listen …
In the measured context of our everyday lives, the grades we hand out often rise and fall with our moods and opinions. We may disagree with someone on one issue, lower their grade, and never quite hear what they have to say again. Each time the grade is altered, the new assessment, like a box, defines the limits of what is possible between us.”
– Rosamund and Benjamin Zander, The Art of Possibility
It occurs to me that a human-centred leader calls forth the very best from us through the ‘granting of an A’. Through focus-alignment s/he amplifies the power of this ‘very best of us’ in the service of a possibility that leaves us (human beings) elevated: moved, touch, and inspired. And thus creates a context that call forth the extraordinary accomplishment from a team of ordinary human-beings.
I thank you for listening to my speaking and wish you a great day. If you find yourself inspired to show up and travel as human-centred leader then I encourage you to get hold of a copy of The Art of Possibility. And learn-embody the practices that are outlined in this delightful-transformative book.
Please note: an earlier version of this conversation was published in November 2014 at CustomerThink.
For those who have a certain kind of listening to language, language in its speaking says much. Take the English for example. You ask the typical English person “How are you today?” What is the typical response? “Not bad!” Take the typical French person and the question becomes “How’s it going?” And the typical response from a French person is “It’s going well.” Notice the difference between the English “My name is X” and the French “I call myself X”. As I said, if you have the listening then language speaks richly – of a culture.
I have been listening to the speaking that occurs in relation to Customer Experience. I hear people talking about:
- mapping the Customer Experience;
- improving the Customer Experience;
- managing the Customer Experience;
- delivering a multi-channel Customer Experience;
- providing an omni-channel Customer Experience;
- driving the Customer Experience;
- gluing up the Customer Experience;
- consistency of the Customer Experience across touchpoints / channels;
- coming up with a Customer Experience strategy;
- business case for Customer Experience ….
To date, I have not heard a single Top say anything like:
- I get what Customer Experience is about and am passionate about putting Customer Experience at the heart of this organisation;
- Wow, Customer Experience opens up a world of possibility on what we can do to simplify-enrich the lives of our customers;
- As a senior leadership team we are committed to competing on the basis of the Customer Experience.
What does this tell you?
It tells me that Customer Experience is viewed-treated as an operational matter. It tells me that Customer Experience is viewed as technique to power and continue the longevity of business as usual. It tells me that the folks at the Top do not get the full power of Customer Experience: a radically different way to show up and do business, to compete for new customers, and keep existing customers.
Steve Jobs was committed to putting a dent in the universe. Tony Hsieh was committed to Zappos being the word for the very best customer service in the world. Jeff Bezos is committed to building the Earth’s most customer centric company. Just about everyone else I have come across is open to / would like improve the Customer Experience if someone else (usually lower down the hierarchy) can come up with a compelling business case. Is it any surprise that almost all talk so much and make so little impact when it comes to the Customer Experience?
Consider this. What Customer Experience lacks is not a toolbox of methods-techniques-tools. What Customer Experience lacks is not certified customer experience professionals. What Customer Experience lacks is not technology nor the consultants to implement the technology. What Customer Experience lacks is not a bunch of folks doing lean to the organisation and ‘improving’ business processes. What Customer Experience lacks is leaders and leadership.
Yet I am optimistic. Why? Because, it only takes one Steve Jobs to make a dent in the universe. It only takes one Tony Hsieh to show us all what Customer Service authentically-radically is. It only takes one Jeff Bezos to transform retailing and show us what the digital Customer Experience can be / should be. It occurs to me that those who will walk the same path, are likely to be working in smaller companies. And as such it is simply a matter of time when they make themselves visible on the radar of big business. Then extinction time! For my part, I welcome and embrace the phenomena described as “creative destruction” by Schumpeter.
What Is Transformation?
For the purposes of this conversation, when I speak ‘transformation’ I am pointing at a radical shift in one’s way of being – as in one’s way of showing up and travelling in this world. If you are Christian, and know your Bible then think of the transformation (often called conversion) of Saul to Paul. What was intrinsic to this transformation? Was it not a letting go, a complete letting go, and embracing the unknown?
What Has Transformation To Do With Customer-Centric Business?
What has this conversation to do with all things Customer and especially customer-centric business? Everything. As I have said many times before a shift to showing up and doing business in an authentically customer-centric way requires a transformation: personal (Tops, Middles, Bottoms) and business (policies, practices, processes, tools).
a. What is the access to transformation?
What is the access to transformation at the individual (personal), and business (organisational) level? Allow me to share the following with you:
In some Asian countries there is a very effective trap for catching monkeys. A slot is made in the bottom of a coconut, just big enough for the monkey to slide its hand in., but not big enough for the hand to be withdrawn when it is clenched. Then you put something sweet in the coconut, attach it to a tree, and wait for the monkey to come along. When the monkey slides its hand in and grabs the food, it gets caught. What keeps the monkey trapped? It is only the force of desire and attachment. All the monkey has to do is to let go of the sweet, open its hand, slip out, and go free - but only a rare monkey will do that.
- Joseph Goldstein, A Heart Full Of Peace, Best Buddhist Writing 2008
OK, this Buddhism stuff shows up for you as ‘other worldly’ – unrealistic. So allow me to make it real for you.
b. The Transformation of Zappos Occurred in March 2003
Listen to Tony Hsieh talk about the early days of Zappos when the leadership team was struggling to find funding to keep Zappos going – the cash had run out (bolding is my work):
A month later, we still weren’t profitable. We still couldn’t raise funding.
But we had a decision to make.
How serious were we about this idea of making the Zappos brand be about the very best customer service? We had discussed the idea internally with our employees, and everyone was excited about the potential new direction.
But was it all talk? Or were we committed?
We hadn’t actually changed the way we did anything at Zappos yet. We did a lot of talking, but we weren’t putting our money where our mouths were And our employees knew it…..
For 2003, we were projecting sales to double, with about 25 percent of our overall sales coming from our drop ship business. The drop ship business was easy money. We didn’t have to carry inventory so we didn’t have any inventory risk or cash-flow problems with that part of the business. But we had plenty of customer service challenges.
The inventory feeds ….. from our vendors for our drop ship business were 95 percent accurate at best …. On top of that, the brands did not ship as quickly or accurately as our own WHISKY warehouse, which meant we had plenty of unhappy and disappointed customers. But it was easy money.
We all knew deep down inside that we would have to give up the drop ship business sooner or later if we were serious about building the Zappos brand to be about the very best customer service. We also knew that the bigger we grew, the more reliant we would be on the cash from drop shipping. There would never be a good time to walk away……
So we made what was both the easiest and hardest decision we ever had to make up until that point. In March 2003, with the flip of a switch, we turned off that part of the business and removed all of the drop ship products from our web site.
We took a deep breath and hoped for the best…..
We had to deal with our first test of our new direction right away. With a drop in revenue, cash was even tighter than before.
Now we had to figure out how to make next week’s payroll.
- Tony Hsieh, Delivering Happiness
Not easy is it? Which kind of explains why many organisations which talk about customer focus, customer obsession, customer-centricity are playing at the periphery: making process changes, buying-implementing technology etc. Which CEO or leadership team looks forward to taking a deep breath and hoping for the best?
If you are serious about cultivating genuine-meaningful loyalty between yourself and your customers then you have to open up your clenched fist. And let go of all the policies-practices-products-people that generate bad profits – profits made at the expense of your customers.
As Tony Hsieh says there is NEVER a good time to do this. So the best time to do that which goes with showing up and travelling the authentic customer-centric path is NOW! Why now? Get this, everything that ever happens, happens NOW. I know that this is not how it shows up for you, or me. And look into this, deeply, and you will see the truth of it. All action occurs in the present, NOW.
Here is where it gets interesting. There cannot be an organisational transformation unless it is preceded by individual/personal transformation; this individual/personal transformation has to start with the Tops – it is called leadership.
What is the subtitle of Tony Hsieh’s Delivering Happiness book? “A path to profits, passion, and purpose”. It occurs to me that the many with whom I speak show an avid interest in profits – increasing profits. Few show any interest in any purpose other than ego: self enrichment in its many disguised. Passion? Passion for great customer service, passion for great Customer Experience, passion for the genuine well-being of customers as fellow human beings? If you come across it then please share it with me.